Mind It!

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!“

The man replied, “How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company.” The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, “Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company.“

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, “I think I need a breath of fresh air.”

The man continued, “I work for 7-UP.“

Trucker

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed  his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man’s milk and then he took a seat at the counter.

The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, “Humph,  not much of a man, was he?“.

The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.“.

Mrs. Brown

Mrs. Brown were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a famous newspaper and reported that he became the proud owner of a twelve pound nugget of gold. The editor upon hearing the seemingly extraordinary news was rather hesitant to accept it at its face value. So he sent his star reporter to interview Mr. Brown. When the reporter came, Mr. Brown was away and his wife was alone at home. The following interesting conversation took place between the reporter and Mrs. Brown:

Reporter : Does Mr. Brown Live here?
Mrs. Brown : Oh! Yes.
Reporter : Is he in?
Mrs. Brown : Why no, he went somewhere.
Reporter : Is it true that he owns a twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : (Seeing the joke) Yes, indeed.
Reporter : Can I see the place where he found it?
Mrs. Brown : I am afraid, not because Mr. Brown objects in as much as it is strictly private.
Reporter : Is the place far?
Mrs. Brown : No, it is quite near and convenient.
Reporter : How many years has Mr. Brown been digging the hole?
Mrs. Brown : Just for about ten months.
Reporter : Is the hole deep?
Mrs. Brown : Quite so.
Reporter : Has Mr. Brown reached the bottom of it?
Mrs. Brown : Not yet, but he is coming near.
Reporter : At about what time does Mr. Brown starts digging?
Mrs. Brown : Oh, he does his digging mostly at night.
Reporter : Does he work hard on it?
Mrs. Brown : You bet. And how he perspires.
Reporter : Is Mr. Brown the first to dig?
Mrs. Brown : He thought he was.
Reporter : How do you know there was someone ahead of him?
Mrs. Brown : I am in a good position to say so, because I own the place.
Reporter : Oh, I see, but you sold the place to Mr. Brown?
Mrs. Brown : No, but for the present, he has the legal title to the site, with my consent.
Reporter : Has Mr. Brown any helper when he works on the claim?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, I work under him.
Reporter : When do you think Mr. Brown will sell the place?
Mrs. Brown : I think not because he enjoys working on it.
Reporter : Can I at least see the twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : Why, certainly (and she showed him the twelve pound baby boy).

P.S.: The reporter has to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.