Mind It!

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate.

The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”

“What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff.

“I don’t care,” said Farmer John. “Just do something about these crazy drivers!”

So the next day, the county workers erected a sign that said
SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING. (more…)

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill’s wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, “What’s the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now.”

Bill said, “Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole.”

“My God, honey!” said the wife, rushing to comfort him. “That must’ve been terrible!”

“It was,” he said. “All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again…”

There’s a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, ”Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.”He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again. ”Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.”

Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. ”Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and move to Las Vegas.”

He can’t take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, ”Go to Caesar’s Palace.” (more…)

“Sir, What is the secret of your success?” a reporter asked a bank President.

“Two words.”, said the bank president.

“And, Sir, what are they?”, asked the reporter.

“Right decisions.”, said the bank president.

“And how do you make right decisions?”, asked the reporter.

“One word.”, said the bank president.

“And, sir, What is that?”, asked the reporter. (more…)

Q: What is the tax on a Mallu’s income called?
A: IngumDax

Q: Where did the Malayali study?
A: In the ko-liage.

Q: Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
A: He is very bissi.

Q: Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
A: To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

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