Archive for November, 2007

A few simple questions

November 30th, 2007

Here are a few simple questions with a not so simple answer. Try to answer these and see how smart you really are. All the best to you. The Questions:

  1. The maker doesn’t want it; the buyer doesn’t use it; and the user doesn’t see it. What is it?
  2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?
  3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
  4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
  5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription “To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion “Captain Frank looked at Art and said, “You really don’t expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?” What’s wrong with the story?
  6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
  7. In what year did Christmas and New Year’s fall in the same year?
  8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
  9. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?
  10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
  11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words “new door” to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
  12. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin’s egg. Why not?
  13. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?
  14. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
  15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show,” One of them was the father of the other’s son. How could this be possible?
  16. A butcher in the butcher shop is 5′ 10″ tall. What does he weigh?

Answers to the questions above: » Read more: A few simple questions

The World’s Best Salesman

November 8th, 2007

Salesman

A young guy from Virginia moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Virginia.”

The boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

» Read more: The World’s Best Salesman

Singing Frog

November 8th, 2007

Singing Frog

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says: “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”

The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”

The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risque.”

“Deal!” says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.” The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

“Money or another miracle else no drink”, says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says “It’s a deal.” He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy “Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy.”

“Not so”, says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”

Technology

November 8th, 2007
Technology

As you are receiving email, it’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally and with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Hearing the scream, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

» Read more: Technology

Supermarket

November 8th, 2007

Supermarket

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom…I’ll show you how.”

Excessive

November 8th, 2007

Excessive

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:
Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

Deer Hunting

November 8th, 2007

Deer Hunting

It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, “What are you up to?”

Alice smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!” Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along.

» Read more: Deer Hunting

Old Rooster

November 8th, 2007

Old Rooster

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “Okay old fart, time for you to retire.”

The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?”

The young rooster says, “Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over.”

Five Surgeons

November 8th, 2007

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers… those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

Sheep Liar!!!

November 8th, 2007
Sheep Liar

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and sheep and began a conversation. Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”
Indian: “Dog no talk.”

Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”

Dog: “Doin’ alright.”

Indian: Look of shock.

Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” pointing at the Indian.

Dog: “Yep”

» Read more: Sheep Liar!!!

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