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Excessive

November 8th, 2007

Excessive

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion:
Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

Posted by Santosh under Uncategorized with 2 Comments

Deer Hunting

November 8th, 2007

Deer Hunting

It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, “What are you up to?”

Alice smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!” Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along.

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Old Rooster

November 8th, 2007

Old Rooster

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “Okay old fart, time for you to retire.”

The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?”

The young rooster says, “Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over.”

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Five Surgeons

November 8th, 2007

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers… those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

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Sheep Liar!!!

November 8th, 2007
Sheep Liar

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and sheep and began a conversation. Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”
Indian: “Dog no talk.”

Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”

Dog: “Doin’ alright.”

Indian: Look of shock.

Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner?” pointing at the Indian.

Dog: “Yep”

(more…)

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